


ghostin

by akikaji (botanicalskeleton)



Series: Winter Events 2020 [4]
Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Grief, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22192252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botanicalskeleton/pseuds/akikaji
Summary: Mafuyu misses Yuki, and sometimes wishes that he were still here instead of Uenoyama.
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki
Series: Winter Events 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589149
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62
Collections: Winter Holiday Event





	ghostin

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is very late haha, but this was written for the Given Events 2020 Winter Event! I took inspiration from both the prompt "You bring my heart to its knees" and the song ghostin by Ariana Grande!

They both knew that the love that Mafuyu had for Ue was special. He loved everything about him. He loved the way his voice sounded, he loved the way he focused when he was playing his guitar to the way his fingers moved as he played it. There was no denying that. From the day that Mafuyu had laid eyes on Ue, he was smitten. He was utterly head over heels and adored everything about him. But the sad truth was that his heart was still broken and he hoped, and sometimes he prayed, that Yuki would come back. He knew that realistically that was just impossible. He could dream though, couldn't he?

Sometimes in his dreams, Mafuyu saw Yuki. It was like nothing had ever happened and god did he wish that somedays. As much as he loved Ue, sometimes the heartbreak of Yuki was too much to bear. Somedays if he and Uenoyama fought even a little bit, he panicked. He would latch onto Ue and make him stay until they solved their problems. He didn't want a repeat of the past and he was so worried that would happen.

In his dreams, Yuki was smiling. He was smiling, and they were happy. At least Mafuyu thought.

Ue walked in to see Mafuyu laying on the couch. His eyes were closed so he just figured that Mafuyu was asleep. He rubbed his eyes and gently picked Mafuyu up in his arms. Mafuyu made a noise and Ue just shushed him. He carried him to his room and laid him on the bed.

He had decided to stay over at Mafuyu's for the night. He had been more recently, in the last couple of weeks. Mainly because they were working on the album, and Akihiko and Haruki wanted them to focus on parts together. But also because Mafuyu seemed to let his guard down a bit more with Uenoyama around which would help when it came to writing the lyrics. They had barely made it through their first performance though. The only thing that got them through was the fact that the audience fell in love with Mafuyu's voice from the moment he opened his mouth.

Uenoyama laid Mafuyu on his bed and grabbed his phone and clothes before walking into the bathroom and closing the door. Setting them on the counter he sighed and rubbed his eyes. His phone dinged and he picked it up, seeing it was just Haruki. He sat it down and stared in the mirror. There were slight bags under his eyes and he groaned. He had not been getting much sleep lately and it was killing him. It was mainly due to Mafuyu though. Even though it wasn't his fault.

Slowly he was learning about Yuki. Mafuyu had mentioned him a few times in the past, but nothing too in-depth. Yuki was still a mystery to Ue, he knew nothing about him. Hell, he hasn't even seen a picture of him. For all he knew this Yuki could have been the most beautiful soul on Earth, and then there was himself. Ue didn't think super highly of himself. Other than boasting about his talent sometimes, that was it.

What he didn't realize was that Mafuyu was waking up. He didn't realize until he heard him start to cry and he sighed.

Mafuyu _hated_ crying in front of people. Not that he really could, he was awful at showing emotion of any sort. There wasn't a time when he ever really showed too much to anyone, it was just who he was. Lately, though he was showing a bit more of himself to others. Especially Uenoyama. But that was hard after Yuki. He lived in this fear that the past would repeat itself and he didn't want to get super close. But he was. He was and he was hating it.

Thankfully Ue was understanding though. It would break his heart each time he heard Mafuyu cry because he knew there was nothing that he could do. But also that Mafuyu _needed_ to cry. He was desperate at this point to feel something about Yuki's death. It had been like he was living in a state of shock and that singing about him finally unlocked something inside of him. There was nothing more that he wanted though than to be able to move on. It just sadly was not that easy and he couldn't deal with it.

Mafuyu was sorry to Ue. He was sorry he was still hung up over Yuki, no matter how many times that Ue said it was okay. But they both knew that if Mafuyu was crying to let him unless he initiated something. Then Uenoyama would comfort him. It was just slowly becoming a relief for Mafuyu though.

Somedays though Mafuyu wished it was Yuki here laying beside him instead of Uenoyama and after he had these thoughts he felt guilty. It was like a punch to the gut and he wasn't sure how to help it. There was just something about it that left a guilty feeling lingering inside of him. Mafuyu just wanted to be able to cuddle up to Yuki one last time, but he couldn't. He had Ue though, but it would never be the same. Ue was his own person, and so was Yuki. While Uenoyama was everything he adored and could ever hope for, so was Yuki.

This was just a never-ending nightmare for Mafuyu. He just hoped and prayed that things would end up okay. it didn't seem to be taking that route though. At least not until he closed his eyes. Because, even then, when his eyes were closed and he was dreaming, he had Yuki holding him and he was in eternal bliss. It helped with the worry that Yuki would be mad at him for finding someone new; although Mafuyu knew. He knew that Yuki would want him to be happy and move on and not cry over him.

They had their short eternity together. But now it was time for a new one with him and Uenoyama.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed :) you can come say hi to me on tumblr @ritsukasato


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